i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
