you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
pray to the hookup gods
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
