i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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