Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
