So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
