I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
