porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize