Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
