at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
