i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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