am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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