A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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