my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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