I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
That accounts for only three of the penises
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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