I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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