Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
