Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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