Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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