marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
