Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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