the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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