i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
