Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
