I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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