Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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