I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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