You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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