After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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