i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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