saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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