well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
