Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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