I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
