why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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