so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
jump out the window naked night went bad
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