need another drink. this is the easiest way
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize