i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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