I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
