just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
