yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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