Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
