nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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