nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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