He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Don't EVER smell your tampon
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize