And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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