we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Randomize
