Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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