Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
