i just google imaged poop.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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