I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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