I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
