Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
