Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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