Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
