she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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