you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
