let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
