Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
