The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
