i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
