Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
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I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
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EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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