ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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