I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize