Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
