I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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