My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
