yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
