I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
