connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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