i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
